After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
