Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
