If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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