Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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