This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
