these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
