This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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