I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
