Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
