Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
