In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
