If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
