a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
