STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
