Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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