take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
