Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
