If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
