She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Drake has all the answers
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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