at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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