at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
