yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
