he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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