Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
