and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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