I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize