I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
