Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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