Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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