Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
