Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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