Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want a musical about memes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
