its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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