the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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