I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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