Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Rumble strips road head = magical
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
