and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize