He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
