Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
