she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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