do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
