New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
ok first of all what the fuck
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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