i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
