Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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