you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
