did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
