worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
