Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
