She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
