so let's talk penis.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
