She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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