mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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