If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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