She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
