so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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