You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
