Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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