sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
