first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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