no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
