i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
