Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
