Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
