i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
